4.10.2007

Me Me Me

Because I can’t get enough of myself, I’ve asked Cinammon Gurl to interro - I mean, interview me, and boy, she did a lovely job. See for yourself:


1. I'm pretty sure I've seen some indication on your blog that you enjoy a little hgtv now and then. If you could have anybody from a design show redo a room in your house, who would it be, which room and why?

It’s a sad, sad truth. My home decorating aspirations are much like my crafting aspirations. Half-baked and with questionable results. Case in point – Bee’s nursery, which, ha ha, by the way, she’s NEVER slept in, was started a generous 4 months before she was born. We sanded, painted, refinished old furniture, put together new furniture, and readied a beautiful chair-rail…. which sits in the basement workroom, warped by time and dampness. Nothing is on the walls and her super-cute pottery barn curtains hang by an unfinished dowel. Her crib is used for little more than storage of behemoth laundry piles. Shameful, I know.

So, to answer your question, I’d want someone to come in a finish her room, right? Or perhaps begin the laborious task of transforming our chocolate-brown office into the new baby’s nursery, right?

Pfffft!
Sarah Richardson, come on over and give my 62-year old kitchen with the 20-year old linoleum floor and gawd-awful cheap-as-shit countertop a makeover! Booyah!


2. I'm totally stealing this from the person who interviewed Beck but it's such a great question, I can't resist... If you were stranded on a desert island, what book, cd, movie, drink and food would you bring?

More importantly, Cin, what island am I on? It’s warm, right? And it’s not really a desert island, is it? Because I don’t really like the feeling of sand in my yoni. But deserted I could handle, as long as I have Fall on Your Knees by Anne-Marie MacDonald to read, Dave Matthews Live at The Gorge to listen to, Say Anthing to watch, water to drink and bagels with cream cheese and fresh tomatos to eat.


3. If we got together for a cheesy dance movie marathon, which movies would you pick?

Dirty Dancing, Stomp the Yard and Bring It On, which counts, because cheerleaders are just dancers who’ve gone retarded.

4. Which quality of Chris's would you most like to a) see AND b) not see passed onto your children?

As long as they have his nose, I am a happy. No? Looking for more? Ok, then. Chris has an amazing ability to not judge and not be petty. He always sees the positive in people and is incredibly sensitive to other people’s feelings. What I mean is, he is nice. Genuinely nice. As opposed to me, who is kind of a bitch. I hope our children inherit this quality, because like some stupid bimbo on tv said, It’s nice to be important, but it’s more important to be nice.

And I’d be ok if his complete inability to make small-talk, beyond, ‘So, yeahhhhhhh,’ stops here.


5. What's the craziest or stupidest thing you've ever done?

Hmm. This is tough. Uh, no, not because I’m a sensible, responsible adult, but because I have done so many – SO many – crazy and stupid things. But they were all in the name of growing and learning, so I embrace them all. And I truly regret nothing. And I had a lot of fun.

But here’s an example – it is 1993 and I am hitchhiking from Nanaimo to Tofino with my bff. Our 3-hour journey has taken quite a while, not because it’s a shitty day to travel, but because the first ride we got was from a really cute guy in a v-dub bus and he and I hooked up and I wouldn’t continue on our journey for days. That’s how I met Lisalou (said boy’s ex!) so it was definitely a good move.
But that’s not the crazy or stupid part.

When I finally heed bff’s call to get the fuck on our way already, we hit the (side of the) road.
First ride – how bout 2 drunks in a pickup! Awesome. (btw – this crazy, stupid thing is also not the crazy or stupid thing I am alluding to.) They drop us off in Port Alberni to hit the bar (again.). We say a hail mary and hike up our thumbs, just wanting to get out of the redneck backwoods little corner of hades we were stuck in, where pretty much every car that passed had a yellow ribbon on it’s antennae, supporting the logging of the old growth rain forest – that we were heading up to to see before these rednecks tore it down. Where my sister had been arrested a year earlier for blocking said rednecks from getting their tree-death machines on the road. Ugh. Port Alberni. Ever been there? Lovely in the spring.

So anyway, we were desperate to leave, and nobody would pick up two hippies for a long time. Oh, and it was raining, because it never stops raining in Port Alberni.
Finally, FINALLY, a man pulls over. We ring out our shoes, get in and relax. Everything’s fine for about a half an hour, until the driver informs us that he’s going to pull off the road, into the bush, to check out some land he’s thinking of buying. Me and bff look at each other and try not to freak. A million things are running through our heads, not the least of which is Get the fuck out of the car!!!

(enter crazy and stupid)

But instead, we sit in panicked silence, each of us probably formulating a plan as to how we will get out of this or really, if in fact this will be the end of us. He can’t take us both, I am trying to convince myself, while digging in my backpack for anything I could use as a tool of self defense. The best I come up with is a pipe, and not like a ‘Col. Mustard in the Conservetory’ kind of pipe. So, ok, I’ll just get the guy really high, and distract him from his intention of raping and mutilating us and we can all laugh about how funny the word ‘Chillum’ is! Good plan!

Meanwhile, the car stops. He gets out. We get out. ‘It’s just down here,’ he says. Do we run? No. Why? Because we’re fucking stupid crazy idiots, of course. We are paralyzed by our youth and inexperience and, quite honestly, politeness, and no amount of after-school specials is going to change our inability to change this situation. And in the back of my mind, at least, this is my first trip away without the safety net of my boyfriend, first trip as kind of an adult, and I want to trust this guy. I want to believe that not everybody is a horrible, dangerous predator, regardless of how this scenario fits the profile.

So we follow the guy. To the top of hill. Where, just below is the most beautiful valley I’ve ever seen in my life. With a For Sale sign at the edge. We let our guard down and enjoy the view.

‘Do you girls mind heading back to the road on your own,’ Our killer asks, ‘I think I’d just like to sit here for a while.’

Our next ride is from a minister. We both fall asleep in the back of the car and wake up in the land of the big trees.

Oh lord. Don’t tell my mother about this one.

That was fun! And if any of you would like to be interviewed by me, let me know! I’ll get you good.

25 comments:

  1. I have to come back later and read this 'better' but I just wanted to let you know I tagged you. uh huh. dontcha love me now.

    I'd love to be interviewed.

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  2. I LOVE these answers... so glad I convinced you to let me interview you!

    So much to choose from, but I think this is my favourite bit:

    cheerleaders are just dancers who’ve gone retarded

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  3. I think that we have the exact same kitchen. Sigh.

    And please tell me that I'm invited to your cheesy dance movie marathon, because that is my idea of a good time!

    If you have questions for me, send 'em my way. I'm game! I believe you have my address from MBT emails already...?

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  4. see? I came back.

    hitchhiking? raining? woods? dark?
    polital agenda to see the trees before they come down?

    What was it... a mix of The Descent and The Blair Witch Project?

    Hell ya you are crazy, but what a great story.

    And your man IS lovely, I met him and he made small talk with me, that is I yammered his face off I think.

    great interview. (my word verification is GODGR). strange

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  5. Yes, that may well be the best line from any (cheerleading) movie ever. Dirty Dancing? Say Anything? Can I bring the popcorn?

    I like Sarah Richardson but she needs to add just a dollop more colour for my taste.

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  6. You've got some crazy stories that's for sure!!
    And when Sarah's done your kitchen send her my way please.

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  7. Ooh, I'm with Mad about Sarah Richardson and colour. I'd pick Candace Olsen from Divine Design to do our bathroom with the 30 year old linoleum in a heartbeat, not that anyone asked me.

    And now I totally wanna have a cheesy dance movie marathon with you and Mad and nomo and anyone else with a penchant for cheesy dance movies...

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  8. Just to be clear - Stomp the Yard is not cheesy. Not. Cheesy.
    ok, maybe a teensy weensy bit of like, really nice brie.

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  9. Oh, I feel so out of the loop on the TV and movie and design stuff. I'm so not cool.

    So I'll say, instead: Port Alberni, rednecks, rain. Yup.

    And, uh, this is what scares me about raising a daughter.

    Can I come to the marathon? You guys can pop my dance movie cherry (okay, I've seen Dirty Dancing and LOVED Strictly Ballroom, but that's it). C'mon, give me an excuse to get out of the house.

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  10. Oh, and I'm with jen on the attention whore thing. I'd totally steal some time away from the p.u.s to answer your questions. Another round? (It's the only kind you'll be having for a while.)

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  11. But will the new baby sleep in her room...? ;-)

    Ooh. And the hitchhiking story is good. Really good!

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  12. "because cheerleaders are just dancers who’ve gone retarded."

    Heh.

    Is it wrong that I got a good chuckle out of that one?

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  13. Just catching up on reading so YAY on the pregnancy. Really. Fantastic.

    Loved the hitchhiking story. Ack.

    As for cheap-ass kitchen counters, beat this: mine is just paint. PAINT! just when you thought nothing was more delicate than crappy formica, I bring you, a countertop surface of glossy paint. Sigh.

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  14. BAGELS? You're such a good jew and I (heart) you.
    Now, I will bring to your attention a very close second to the crazy/stupid decision.
    This was a decision I did not condone. Consider for a moment, a smitten young girl, fresh off the bus, in Turkey, the very middle of the night with nowhere to stay. Not just safety but passports & cash at stake!
    I thought girls were supposed to think with their heads? As if sh*tt*ng in a hole instead of a toilet wasn't bad enough.
    Now that's a freakin glamour baby!!

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  15. bff - trust me, that story was very close to being the 'one!'
    but he was so cute. and we were fine, right? just another adventure!

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  16. Fun interview, CG did me too.

    I'd love to have my kitchen renovated. Before we bought our house, the kitchen was converted into a bedroom and the new kitchen is in the boot room off of the back door. It's only 6x8 feet!

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  17. I love you little one. I remember those days so well. I wanted to hate you but you were just too fricken cute! Speaking of stupid things...Do you remember the night we drove my 1963 Ford Falcon, the one with no windshield wipers, to Victoria in the RAIN to see a reggae band play at a bar? Oh yeah, and I used your ID because I was like, 17! Oh...the salad days. Kisses to you and our sweet sweet youth.

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  18. is it wrong that i read this whole thing thinking "she's preggers, she's preggers!"

    ok. sorry. Say Anything. That's a good choice. A hard decision and a good choice.

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  19. lisa - oh yes! i also remember swiping a squeegee from a gas station so that every now and then one of us could reach out the window and wipe off the windshield!

    (and how could you not love me when i insisted on cuddling up in the front seat with you every time!)

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  20. The mom in me is waggling her finger at you!!!

    BADDD!

    But girl, we have the EXACT same taste in movies, music and books.

    I'd be stranded on a deserted island with you anyday.

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  21. great interview, very funny.
    and the hitchhiking story sounds oh so familiar..
    Oh lord help me when Lulu turns 16.

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  22. What a great story (except when I picture my two girls as teenagers!)

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  23. Eeek! That story is totally freaking me out, even though it's past and I know it was okay! God, I'm way too sensible. Always have been. Even when other people take crazy chances, it gives me the heebies-jeebies.

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  24. That story completely wigged me out. You bold, crazy girl.

    Oh and I have a wee crush on Sarah Richardson. And now on you too for your "Say Anything" answer :)

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  25. Oh man I love these interviews. I thought I already responded but I think the dancing cheerleader line made me laugh so hard that I lost all train of thought.

    What I want is to be stranded on a Dessert Island because I love to make whip cream castles.

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