I have not been away from Chris for that long in the 8 years we’ve been together, and I have never been away from Bee. Not for one night. Never. I like us being together, and while yes, I could probably deal with a weekend of just me-and-Chrisness, with Bee safely situated with a grandparent or two, I don’t want to leave her for this long. I like going to sleep with my loves, and I like waking up with them. I feel like missing 7 days of Bee will mean that I miss a million smiles, a million funny things that she says, a million ridiculously adorable renditions of ABC or The Wheels on the Bus or her newest hit, Old MacDonald. A million Bee things that I like my day to include.
Bee will be ok. She might have a few tired, rough moments, but she loves, loves, loves her daddy, and I have every confidence in Chris to take care of things. And of course, I’ll speak to them every day, perhaps offer some coaching on meal planning, and hopefully not be in tears when I hang up the phone, but no guarantees there. These days, toilet paper commercials make me cry.
(Deep breath) I can do this.
The flipside, of course, is that I’m leaving only to head to a very different tough situation. My brother and me are going to see my dad in Florida, my sisters having been there a couple of weeks ago. I can’t wait to see my dad; I miss him terribly, but this is not going to be our normal trip to Florida, full of sand and sun and shuffleboard and smiles. Don’t quite know what we’re in for.
(One more deep breath)
I’ll let you know how it goes.