You know the talk. The should we/shouldn’t we-think of the consequences-are we ready to go to that next level-what about the fun mystery of it all-talk. It’s a part of life, and it most inevitably (hopefully, if you want it to) will come up. At some point. And like most important decisions, the thing that the two parties involved should do, is talk about it. Get it out there, feel comfortable discussing it and be candid about your feelings. Come to an agreement that you are both happy with. Because if you can’t even do that, than surely you’re not ready. And once you go for it (if you go for it – remember, you have a choice), you can’t take it back.
I always want to do it. I’m that kind of gal. Mystery or not, I want to know what I’m in for, and I want to know as soon as possible. How will it feel? How will things change? How will you react? How big will the smile on my face be?
You are of a different mindset. You think that we should take things slow, be teased a bit; wonder, dream. You are a little more romantic than I am; a little more old-fashioned. You are patient and content with the knowledge that eventually, it will happen.
But I start to convince myself that things will be a certain way, and while I would never be disappointed with the outcome (I wouldn’t – I could never be disappointed), I need to know if things will be different than the experience that is already burning itself into my imagination. And my imagination starts to go wild pretty early –
I’ve done it your way before. It was good. It was so good. It was tough, but I stuck it out. And yes, in the end, I was happy and satisfied and thrilled and blissed out and excited.
And now we’re doing it again, with someone new. And that in itself is incredibly exciting and I love how close it brings us, and I love every moment of it and I can barely put into words how wonderful it is. And that feeling? That experience? It’s coming, I know it is, but I can’t wait. Not this time. I want it now. Now. Now. Now.
And I got it.
And it feels so freakin good.
It’s a girl.