10 Reasons Why It’s Ok That I’m Not Going to BlogHer

10. My Gals are getting there road-trip style, together in one van, and they smell.

9. I don’t want to share my awesome Canadian chocolate with you.

8. I would give myself gestational diabetes by stopping here every night for a snack.

7. My last trip to Chicago involved cops, the scary ghetto, a cage, a huge waste of company time and so much fun that I’m afraid no trip back would ever measure up.

6. We now have Sephora, H&M and terrorism paranoia in Canada. Pfft. I don’t need you, America.

5. This gives someone else the chance to accomplish the most embarrasing faux pas of the weekend.

4. Redneck Mommy would have the biggest girl-crush on me, and you’d all be jealous.

3. Tickets for the Wiggles will be going on sale during that time, and I’ll be a way better mom than you when I get tickets for my kid, and you don’t.

2. Some of you puritans might look down on a 6-month pregnant woman getting hammered.

1. Reading bloggers is ok, but listening to them talk in real life? God, so boring.



  1. You crack me up. I'm sure it will be a 100% bore, snoozefest. So you'll be there next year right?!

  2. hahaahah. Puritans.
    When I was pregnant with The Boy, I wanted beer (which I can normally live without) more than anything else in the world. My father would very obligingly open a bottle and let me spend ten minutes SMELLING it.
    And then I had The Boy and went back to being indifferent about beer.

  3. Followed you over from the comments on Scarbiedoll's blog.

    LOVE the list! Yah, I keep telling myself it will suck and I'm not missing anything. No, I don't believe me either.

  4. Hey, we should have a 6-month boozefest. Puritans be damned. You down? I'll bring the wine.

    This list made me feel better for not going BlogHer - at least I know not ALL the cool kids are going.

  5. Who are the Wiggles? ;)

    Wish you were coming.

  6. ya, bloggers. Who needs em? I'll be perfectly happy with a Coffee Crisp bar and a McLobster sandwich.

  7. LMAO. You totally crack my shit up.

  8. this was too funny, dude!

    i am not going either mostly because i am too cool (well actually it is because i am broke hehehe!)

  9. Damn, we have terrorism paranoia here? I was going to smuggle some on my way back in.

    So much for my retirement plan.

    (And it would really be sad if we had to go all the way to Chicago to meet for the first time. That's another good reason.)

  10. Thanks for making me laugh AND feel better about not going to blogher. Maybe we should have a mini-non-blogher in TO? You, Sage and Nomo can show me around...

  11. #7? I need to hear that story.

    and no way, with my rack, Redneck would like me the best.

    I'm not going either...wanna drown our sorrows in icecream?

    You are so farcking funny.

  12. You're right, it would be no fun at all.

    I still wish you were going but now that I know you're a cheesecake junkie it's probably just as well that you're not.


  13. Definitely an excellent list! I'm LMAO here.

    And The Cheesecake Factory? So divine. Worth every calorie consumed.

    Now, must go raid cupboard for chocolate, as thoughts of cheesecake (yummy yummy cheesecake) are causing desperate sugar cravings that must be satisfied immediately.

  14. god, you are right. what was i even thinking?

    uh, psych.

    you'll be missed, kgirlio.

  15. When we get back, we're coming for you. We'll be packin' cheesecake and we'll have naked pics of Red. But we'll be quick to assure you that, yes, the real thing was BORE.ING.

  16. I don't smell dude :)

    Will drink for you!

  17. (oh god, I'm so embarrassed - the other ladies do smell don't they?). Trust me, this is going to be so boring, you're better off camping out for the Wiggle tickets.

  18. Yah, we're no fun. Certainly the scenery on the road trip will be dull and we have to go through some stinky towns and they won't stop to let a preggo like yourself go pee. It'd be hell. Tell you what - we won't show you the pictures, okay?

  19. Admit it. You aren't going so that all the other bloggers won't be overpowered by your beauty and wit. It is a selfless move on your part.

    All the less, I'm disappointed that you won't be there.

    Good to know though about #1. I was wondering how I would know which ladies were the Canadian bloggers.

  20. I'm not going either. :(

    But like you said, it's probably better that way. I know I'd just want to get really drunk and party it up - and at 9 months pregnant that wouldn't really work out so well. Heh.

  21. Go to Chicago and get cheesecake at The Cheesecake factory? Bah. Blasphemy. Eli's is the place for cheesecake.

    I wish I were going too.

  22. Uh-oh. Do you think I can get a refund?

  23. LOVE IT! I'm not going either and now that you've posted this, I am even MORE grateful! *wink*

  24. I don't get to go to BlogHer either, so I really love your list.

    Puritans! Bah!