10. My Gals are getting there road-trip style, together in one van, and they smell.
9. I don’t want to share my awesome Canadian chocolate with you.
8. I would give myself gestational diabetes by stopping here every night for a snack.
7. My last trip to Chicago involved cops, the scary ghetto, a cage, a huge waste of company time and so much fun that I’m afraid no trip back would ever measure up.
6. We now have Sephora, H&M and terrorism paranoia in Canada. Pfft. I don’t need you, America.
5. This gives someone else the chance to accomplish the most embarrasing faux pas of the weekend.
4. Redneck Mommy would have the biggest girl-crush on me, and you’d all be jealous.
3. Tickets for the Wiggles will be going on sale during that time, and I’ll be a way better mom than you when I get tickets for my kid, and you don’t.
2. Some of you puritans might look down on a 6-month pregnant woman getting hammered.
1. Reading bloggers is ok, but listening to them talk in real life? God, so boring.