8.19.2007

I’m home from Florida, and I’m tired. It’s not just from lack of sleep.

My head hurts, my heart hurts, and less than 24 hours after returning, my husband is sleeping in the basement because I took it out on him, and I’m too tired to work it out .

The rest of my family thought that coming over for dinner was a better idea than going to a restaurant for my sister’s birthday, so that we could all have a visit. I barely cracked a smile and let everybody else do all the work.

I’m seven months pregnant and my dad is dying. He just turned 65 and he weighs 122 pounds. Ten pounds less than I do.

I’ve unpacked my bags, but the ones under my eyes will be harder to get rid of.

If it weren’t for the daugher I have and the daughter I will have, I’d feel very alone.


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25 comments:

  1. I'm so sorry K. You're in my thoughts and now that you're not alone.

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  2. I'm here too. I'm sorry you are going through such a hard time.

    I'm sending all my warm thoughts your way.

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  3. Oh honey - we're all with you. Know that. You only have to be alone if you want to be.

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  4. Any one of the things you have going on right now would be hard to deal with on its own. Being tired makes everything seem even worse than it is. I have no doubt you will deal better after you get some rest.

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  5. Oh, my friend. Please call me tomorrow, or whenever. I'll be up for at least an hour. I've been thinking about you all week.

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  6. How awful. And an argument on top of everything always makes it feel worse. I hope you find comfort soon.

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  7. oh honey. i am so sorry. i am sorry for your dad and sorry for your heart.

    love you, sister.

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  8. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this all at once. I can't even imagine losing a parent, but having to deal with it while pregnant too would be so much more difficult.

    Hang in there, and be sure to get the rest you need, too.

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  9. Oh, Kgirl. I'm sorry. Sending you strength.

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  10. Oh, Kgirl... you're not alone. I lost my grandma when I was six months pregnant and it was awful. I can't imagine having to do all the practical stuff you're doing along with the emotional impact of it being your dad. Thinking of you...

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  11. Oh sweetie - huge hugs, from my belly to yours.

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  12. I'm so sorry about your daddy. It's so very hard to watch them slip away.

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  13. K.

    It's gotta come out somewhere. A night in the basement won't crack the foundations.

    What you are going thru is so lousy, so badly timed by the universe, it is hard to imagine the emotions you are feeling.

    I'm sorry you feel so alone.

    xo

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  14. you are not alone, kgirl.

    you have us. really.
    [[hugs]]

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  15. That's just brutally hard. I'm so, so sorry.

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  16. Oh I wish you didn't feel that way, I wish you weren't going through this and feeling alone(ish), I wish I could do something to make it all better.

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  17. Oh, honey. A fight with the spouse feels terrible even when everything else is rosey. I can just imagine how terrible this feels. But knowing you two, he'll understand why and come back around to lift you up. Big hugs in the meanwhile.

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  18. I'm not sure what to say, except that I'm so terribly sorry. It's awful and cruel to have to watch our loved ones suffer, and I'm just so sorry you're witnessing this, and so sorry for your father, and your family...

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  19. Aw, hon, I'm so sorry. I understand, I really do.

    You have a right to feel tired and shitty. Own it. It's okay.

    {{hug}}

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  20. I'm so sorry you are going through this..

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  21. I am so terribly, terribly sorry to hear about your dad. Between late pregnancy and your dad's illness, I'm sure your husband understands why you're lashing out at those around you... even though it can be hard to remember in those moments.

    Hugs to you and yours.

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  22. So sorry to hear that. I'm sure Chris understands, it's his job to understand and be supportive during such a happy, yet sad time in your life.

    Take care of yourself.

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  23. I can't even imagine the stress you're going through. But you're not alone. If you ever need a shoulder, I'm happy to provide one.

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  24. Hey kgirl,
    I've been away for a few weeks and am just seeing this now. My heart goes out to you. It's so hard to be away from your parents when their need is great. It is so hard to have needs of your own when all this is playing out as well.

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Talk to me.