guest blog by chris the husband.
Bee and I woke up especially early this morning to drop Kgirl and soon to bee off at the airport to florida, the act of which kicked off another KGIRL FAMILY ABANDONMENT WEEK here at the kids are alright.
Oh, yes, Kgirl has left us before, and yet we lived.
Day 1 went smooth and easy, as I used a killer combo of instant pizza, the park and a double shot of Dora before putting and exhausted Bee to sleep. So instead, I’ll recap a weekend event.
Bee woke up from her nap on the weekend to find her mom and I playing a snowboarding video game called SSX. It’s actually one of the rare video games Kgirl will play with me, mostly because for every win, you get to shop for outfits to dress up your snowboarder in, like this hot pink halter top I’ve been working toward, which would just go so well with the pom pom tuke, and, you know, um, not gay.
It’s great spending time with Kgirl in this way, (cause I can’t take another episode of OC) except during the game she puts a lot of pressure on me to perform, because if I don’t win that race, Kgirl can’t unlock the skinny pants. And being 7 months pregnant, she desperately wants to put on skinny pants, even if it is by proxy, so I've got to take charge and be the man and bring home the pants. For my wife to wear.
Bee saves my already shaky masculintiy by saying in her too cute “asking” voice “I try?” Sure, love.
She has played the vids before, with mixed results. I started Bee early around 2 months or so, playing Tekken, the greatest kung fu game ever made by the good people at Namco. As this was her first game, I picked the Giant Panda for her, figuring the panda’s large size and crushing grip would make up for her inexperience. However, her poor basic motor skills and tendency to suck on the controller at critical moments proved her undoing, resulting in a staggering 5-0 victory for me. Sure, some may claim that a victory over an endangered species controlled by an inattentive 2 month old is not something to be proud of, but they would be woefully misinformed. It’s really just continuing a strong family tradition where as a young lad my dad laid the smack down on me with a game of Pong.
Once the tears dried and the green tinged nightmares subsided, I was all the better for it.
Bee is also doing much better with our snowboarding game, her fine motor skills have come in to the fore, she is holding rather than drooling the controller, discovering the core fundamentals, methodically practising her left turn, just grabbing the game by the horns and aggressively turning left, really nailing that left turn, just really working some future NASCAR basics. Our snowboarder character over the next 5 mins OWNS the counterclockwise turn. None can touch her.
Like any proud father, my hope is to one day provide my children with the abilities to master the combos I never could, and to let them know that if they put their minds to it, they too can reach for the stars, and fight the aliens therein. And maybe just one day, save the world. Save. The. World.
Tomorrow...a day at the farm! will roosters traumitize Bee again? we'll find out!