Pray for Me

I have my first session at the gym that I know I have to join in about four hours.

I really don't want to go. I have to, but I don't want to.

I have belonged to three or four gyms in the past, and it never ends well. Well, it does for the gym, who makes at least 6 months' fees off of a member that has been inside the doors exactly three times - to walk on the treadmill for half an hour and then go have a sauna. Where I did indeed break a sweat, so it was easy to pretend that I had 'worked out.'

This time I am determined not to walk out on my workout. Because I want to be healthy. Because I want to set a good example for my children, who will know that their parents exercise. Because there is a Starbucks right downstairs and I can reward myself with a (fat-free) latte when I'm done getting my ass kicked by my circuit traning, whip-yielding coach. Because shlepping around a 15.5 lb 4-month old (seriously! how cute is my little buddha baby!) just isn't cutting it.

Kidding. I will not be an exercise flight-risk because I am currently sporting two asses, and even though one of them is conveniently hiding my incision, it really doesn't belong on that side of my body. C'mon, you know what I'm talking about. It ain't gonna go away on its own, and I already eat really well, plus, I'm not giving up snacking, so I guess I had better actively give it a hand in getting lost.

If I can even get my asses into my workout clothes.

Pray for me.



  1. My workout/weight loss plan last time involved leaving the house EVERY DAY, even in a blizzard once or twice, and walking around and around for about an hour untili Pumpkinpie fell asleep, and my reward at the end was to run to the coffee shop, and sit and read for 20-30 minutes while she napped. It was my only real me time, and it was glorious, but it also got me off my lazy ass and took off all the weight by about month 8 or 9. I'll do it again, though I'm contemplating adding a gym or stroller fit group onto it after about five months or so, because I wouldn't mind losing the baby weight and some of the years-of-good-eating weight on top as a bonus!

  2. I will pray for you while I pray for myself...pray for me too pls will ya? I joined a gym at the end of Jan and I've been doing my best to go...it sucks, I hate it the entire time I'm there, but I do feel mighty nice when I'm done. I still suck at it, I'm so out of shape and weak...but I gotta do it...I gotta set a good example. That, and the fact that it looks like we might put in a pool this summer which is another MAJOR reason to firm up!!

  3. You are shaming me into realizing I must get myself back into shape and into the gym.

    My husband would like to thank you for this.

    My jiggling ass cheeks and burning lungs, however, are flipping you the bird.

  4. I get ass sweat just THINKING about going to the gym. Good luck.

  5. Am torn between cheering you on and feeling guilty about my chins. You are a star babe.
    I am just waiting for spring so I can enact the Kittenpie plan.
    I should get a trainer. I really should.
    Hopefully yours is as hot as crazymumma's and you share here.

  6. That second ass? I know of which you speak. Damned C-section.

  7. Ah, the ass belly. I never really completely got rid of mine after baby # 1. Now that baby # 2 is only four weeks away, I'm starting to be worried about what my stomach is going to look like this time.

    I suspect I'll be able to have a family of squirrels nesting in it.

  8. You just ruined my toast-smothered-with-Nutella breakfast and forced me to contemplate my eventual second ass. Damn you!

  9. I am going to take the next two months to enjoy my jiggly legs and then I'll be joining you in avoiding the gym after I've paid them.

    Good luck!

  10. I am so proud of you- pregnancy has certainly thrown my workout routines out the window. And, as I've already surpassed the upper end of a woman's average weight gain during pregnancy, I am certain that I will have at least one extra ass to deal with come the end of June.

    Love ya

  11. oh the c-section second ass--i know that well.

    you can do it and once again be solo assed.

    Running on empty

  12. Too bad we don't live closer, or I'd be your gym bunny...er buddy.

    Good luck!

  13. gyms scare me - they make lots of money off of me - but you can do it - you are waaaaaaay more disciplined than me. YOU CAN DO IT!

  14. Oooh, if there was a Starbucks in a gym near me, I might just go workout.

    Good luck - you'll do great! Now if I could only cheer myself on like that.

  15. would it be inappropriate of me to mention that I used to be a personal trainer?

    get your asses in there and bust a move girl - go go go!!!! :)

    okay, back to my chocolate eggs and truffles.

  16. I don't have two asses (one of mine is clearly enough) but I do have a couple of extra chins if anyone is looking to make a deal?

    You are inspiring and while a gym is not in the budget - a morning powerwalk and biking to work is just around the corner.

    Sadly, beer and chicken wings are on the other corner.

    Le sigh.


  17. Don't sweat it, you have two kids--your life's going to be a workout.

  18. blah, blah, blogMarch 28, 2008

    DON'T DO IT!

    Am I too late again?!

    Oh dear, I fear I am about to become pedantic once more...

    At this point in our beyond busy lives, we barely have the time, energy or opportunity to do things we love, much less those we hate. You, my friend, are setting yourself up for failure.

    Plus, I now know to which gym you refer (the-gym formerly-known-as-Curves) and I used to smirk at the post-workout, spandex-clad women having their non-fun lattees (and while I can appreciate skipping the syrup that will outlast us all into the next millennium, can we just stop blaming the cow, people? Not just for pants anymore, heh heh. Although still probably best avoid the growth hormone-engorged flesh).

    Please don't become one of those people.

    Now, as we move into the inevitable 'me' portion of my comment I'd like you to picture me from the neck up because we both know that I had lost my ‘baby’ weight by the second month postpartum and what we are now witnessing is actually wholly-shit-the-baby-is-sick-again-and-I-can’t-leave-the-house-and-did-I-mention-we-think-the-toddler-has-a-heart-condition-you-might-as-well-just-pass-the-whole-package-bat-shit-stir-crazy (to borrow)-stressed-out weight.

    You have to find an activity you love. I actually miss going to the gym. Desperately, at times. Before the first born, I used to go daily--granted I was writing my dissertation and unlike organizing my desk drawers yet again it was in fact a ‘legitimate’ excuse for a break.

    For me it was the yoga--blissful sigh--and I credit yoga for the strong core stability muscles that not only meant I had two glorious comfortable pregnancies (What? Time to deliver all ready?!), two quick recoveries and oblique muscles that reappeared within six weeks.

    By-the-way, my old gym with the great yoga schedule and really not bad instructors for a gym, is currently having an $8.00 a month special.

  19. I just closed the window before my comment published! Good one! I basically said this:

    How was it? Did you love it? Do you feel great? Wish we went to same gym. But, I should go to yours because there's a starbucks there and that's all the motivation I need to get my arse over there!!! ;)


Talk to me.