Twenty(ish) Questions (Part II)

Ok, Bee is at nursery school for another hour, Dove is napping, and the kitchen is a total disaster area. Time to blog!

Let’s just get right down to it, shall we? Ok, where were we? Right! Redneck Mommy wants to know what my favourite TEEN aged memory was.

Well Red, I’m glad you used all-caps to keep me on track of the TEEN part, since so much of it was clouded in pot smoke, I need an all-caps reminder to keep me on track.

Heh, heh. I digress. I am one of those bitches that loved her teenaged years. Not because I was some candy-assed cheerleader/prom queen, but because I went to a very liberal high-school, was friends with people in all of the ‘groups’ (which in my day was mainly deadheads, TIPsters [one petty crime away from being kicked out of school], housers [remember the polkadots?!] and, well, Jewish princesses), had a 21-year old boyfriend by time I was 16, was allowed to traverse North America on Dead tour, and learned how brew BTs that made even twelfth graders drool.

So Red, the answer is: I can’t remember. Pass the Cherry Garcia, would ya?

Gabs wants to know, if you could have dinner with 3 famous people, dead or alive, who would they be?

Answer: 1. My Dad
2. My Dad
3. My Dad

He will seem famous in the stories I tell of him to my girls.

But if there is a bonus fourth, let’s add Janis Joplin. We would both enjoy her company.

MamaT wants to know how me and Chris met.

We met while both working at a big box book store. I had just returned from a year of travel, and Chris was about to enter his last year of college. I had sworn off men, but since I thought Chris looked like a beautiful alien (those wide-set almond eyes! that seriously chiseled jaw!), he was fair game, and I was still cute back then, so I got him.

Mama T never played by the rules, so she slipped in a query about diamond shreddies – YES, bullshit.

As for the theme song, I’ll think on it. There could be many.

Mrs. Chicky also asked more than one question, but I ain’t gonna argue with a pregnant dog-trainer. They’re fierce. So here goes:

Favorite band ever? Favourite changes through time, but how ‘bout most-beloved? The Dead.

Underoos - loved them or hated them? Loved them until my big sis got the Wonder Woman underoos and I got freakin Deputy Dog.

Burt's Bees - Great company or corporate sellout? Sellout. I’ve moved on to Weleda products for me and my brood.

Most bizarre experience of your life? Too many to name. An all-night Israeli rock concert in 1998 was pretty weird, so too was walking downstairs in the house I shared with buds years ago to find a homeless, cracked out old woman sitting in my living room. Watching my dad have a heart attack at my grandmother’s funeral was surreal. Giving birth is the ultimate head trip.

BFF wants to know if she should name her firstborn Skipper.
Dude, of course.

Urban Daddy threw this one at me:
After meeting you in person, I realized you are shorter in person than you appear in this blog (hoping right now not to be "deleted comment") so have you ever wanted to be taller, how tall and for what specific reason?

My man, you were this close to being “deleted comment.”

But truly, no. I’ve always rocked the cute little girl thang (my signature style was always Kindergarten Chic. Eat it, feminists.), and it is only since I have gotten two-child fat that I wouldn’t mind a little stretch to even things up.
And I always joke that I married Chris to give my kids a fightin’ chance at some height and a good nose, so the pressure for kids that break the 5’2” mark is on, mister.

Nancy offered:
Do you think it was karma kicking my butt when I TOTALLY judged you for giving your girl chocolate chips ... and then MY baby girl found out about chocolate chips just days later and LOVES THEM? I gave her one VERY dark chip thinking it would be bitter, she would hate it and that would be the end of that. Instead, she loved it and constantly asks for "more dark chocolate!!"
I say karma, what say you?

Nancy, I totally appreciate your honesty here. *cough*slutface*cough*

I too have been a judgy mcjudger in the past, but y’know? You do things differently when you have an unreasonable toddler demanding unreasonable things and your feisty newborn is bitching at you because she can’t retain her grip on your boob because you just got up to answer the phone and the water is boiling over and who just pooped?

So, yeah. Karma’s a bitch. Just wait until she asks for a pony.

Marla wants to commend me on my fabulous interior decorating skizzles and tell me how totally hip and chic she thinks our pad is.

Ok, fine, she just wants to know what the colour on the wall is. But you know, Marla has one of the best eyes in the biz, and I am honoured by her recognition of our cool wall colour.

It’s something from Home Depot. Can’t remember the name, but it nets out to a very retro deep turquoise that compliments our cherry stained gumwood trim and Russell Spanner furniture collection really well. (That was shameless. Sorry.)

NoMo, that big lush and fellow buddha baby mama wants to know: How much alcohol have you drunk since having your second baby?? [Read: These kids of mine are driving me to drink.]

Answer: Not enough. But I’m a lightweight, and really, I need coffee more than I need alcohol. But don’t touch my Mill Street Organics, or I’ll cut your hands off.

Blah, Blah Blog asks: Why do you like ME?
Easy, Blah: we are again on mat leave at the same time. That’s all I need.
Kidding! You are smart, and funny, and you understand what my mother is like. Those are very very important things. So is living close and making good coffee.

Sephardic or Ashkenazi? Oy vey. Ashkenazi, unless you ask my sister who insists that my Romanian gypsy grandmother was actually Spanish.

Would you have your son circumcised? Can I just say that I am so happy that we never had to decide? It's tough being a Jewish earth-mama.

And… if not being mom-entous at the mom-ent, how would you, ideally, occupy yourself? Blogging and drinking coffee, just like I am now, but I would ideally be typing with two hands (did I mention that Dove woke up, like, 4 questions ago?)

Bonus! After the buzzer questions from Crazymumma , Sandra and Something Baby Blue:

Crazymumma: If you and your guy are in the same room with the girls, do they always turn to you first? Or to him.

Ok, funny story. I didn't read this right and seriously thought that you were asking whether girls in general turned to me or Chris first, and was wondering what kind of trouble you were trying to stir up.

Since I now realize that you are talking about OUR girls, I'll give my head a shake and say, me. Well, Dove, always, since Chris does not have boobs (thank gawd), and with Bee, mostly, except at certain times when she knows it is daddy/Bee time. They always play together right after dinner, so she doesn't bother with me then. If she needs something done, she'll come to me. I'll often redirect.

Sandra asks: what one story from your youth will you never share with your girls??

I will NEVER tell them about hitch-hiking from Nanaimo to Tofino with BFF. First off, it took almost a week to travel 6 hours because our very first ride was a cute guy in a VW van and he picked us up and I stayed with him for 5 days. We also managed rides with a drunk pair of brothers, a middle-aged man who convinced us to walk into the bush with him to look at land he wanted to buy (fuck, we were the dumbest stupidest girls ever. He turned out to be on the level, but WTF were we thinking?!?), the drunk brothers AGAIN and finally a pastor who we decided we were just going to trust no matter what and fell asleep in the back seat.

Don't worry, I'm shaking my head too.

And finally, Jana - he can do whatever he'd like ;)



  1. These were really fun to read - I can't believe I didn't get in on the action and ask a question!

  2. You know what? I am going to be the world's strictest mother of teenagers after all the crap I did as a teenager. And then they'll be way liberal with their kids, which is the way it rolls.
    I can't believe I didn't ask you a question. Stupid crashing browser.
    You know, I WISH I had my kid circumsized. Young boys are not the most fastidious creatures in the world.

  3. Loved reading your answers; they were fascinating. And duh to me I should've known the answer to my question would'v been your dad. Beautiful!


  4. Have I told you how much I love you? I worship you. And now I will be your permanent stalker because I need to know more about you.

    D'ayum girl, you've had quite a life.


    And i want to hear more about this hitchhiking adventure...

  6. Kindergarten chic! I love it.

    And yes, coffee is lifeblood and more for me right now - it's my sanity. Mr Earth knows better than to make me choose between him or coffee..

  7. Um, wow. I think I love you a little bit now. Or a lot. I have always been fascinated by people who grab life by the balls as you have done, as I'm so timid about taking risks.

    So, so cool.

  8. You know, I don't even really care what your answers are b/c this meme has brought out casual K in all her gloriousness. Reading this prose makes me want to meet you and just hang out for hours.

  9. I love this.

    I love you.

    And I love Mill Street's.

  10. I'd hug you because I loved this little glimpse of you you are and who you once were but I'm afraid I'd crush you because you are a freaking MIDGET!


    Remember to wear heels and I'll try to remember to wear flats when we meet so you won't have to stare into the cavernous insides of my nostrils.

    Wink, wink.

  11. I know. My grammar is crap. That is why you misread.

    Angels were watching over you as a teenager my dear. hordes of them.


Talk to me.