7.07.2008

Tell Me Something Good

This little corner of the blogosphere is one that I cherish. It has lifted, inspired, guided, championed, supported and tickled this mama more times than I can count. I don’t have to go on extolling the virtues of the mamablogging community, because you’re here too; you already know.

But…

(And you knew this was coming)

But…

There are days when I honestly think that I am the only person out here that actually likes having kids.

I know, I know. It’s not true.

We all write so much about our pride in, and our love for our families. As I’ve said before, and I believe it, our blogs are love letters to our children. And we are a talented bunch, crafting our letters so beautifully; words truly to be cherished.

We also write to unload, to vent, to bitch and to reach out for sympathy when we need to. Of course we do. This part is more about survival than creativity, but it’s still important.

I guess tho, there are days when the scales seem to be tipped, or maybe the moon is full or the tide is out, or maybe the days are too hot or too long, or maybe all sorts of coffee makers went on the fritz simultaneously this morning, or maybe forest fairies forgot to place their magic pebbles on their toadstools and so everything has gone to shit. Dunno. All I know is that there are days when my bloglines give me nothing but misery and fear and complaining, and it just. Gets. Me. Down.

Like I said, we all have our moments, and though I really do try to focus on the good here, I know I’m not to be completely excluded. But we do like to go on, don’t we? We do like to flog those dead horses, Tired, Scared and Suffocated, don’t we? Is that really how we want to define our experiences as mothers?

Anyway, look, now I’m complaining.

So, I’m going to leave you with a cute anecdote, and a plea: Tell me something good. I know it’s there.


***

Bee, at three, is much too clever. As I struggle to find a creative, inspiring, empowering way to guide and discipline her, she has found an airtight defense to any of her ahem, less desirable actions. An example:

Bee takes a toy out of her sister’s hand, and throws it just out of Dove’s reach. Dove cries. I ask her not to do that again. Bee does it again. When I go to her to try to remedy the issue, explaining why she shouldn’t do it, she looks at me squarely in the eye and smiles an angelic smile.

“I was just joking, Mom.”

Yeah, I’m fucked.

***

21 comments:

  1. Yup, you're fucked.

    Anyhow, something good? Gigi may know how to push all my buttons but somehow over the past few weeks, she has mellowed and matured into this amazing creature that I fear writing about. She can even be reasoned with on occasion which I once thought was impossible. Now that I've written this down, I'm officially fucked. But it's a good thing nonetheless.

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  2. I know I've been in the midst of a health/fertility/trying to get my son an evaluation funk as of late and have even been avoiding writing some in part because so much feels like it's on hold here in between paperwork and doctor visits. I can feel it shortchanging the time I am with my son.

    But, there are still the good moments. Like the insane little burst of pride I got when we were at our humanist parenting group; one parent was retelling the Egyptian creation myth, and Scooter realized that Ra's eye was the sun before she got to that point.

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  3. Oliver went in to the water today at swim class unassisted. Meaning, I didn't go in with him. I sat on the bench and watched with Julia, but he went in on his own. And he only ran over to me twice. I was so proud of him. :)

    Julia literally counted down the minutes this afternoon until it was time for me to wake Oliver up. Every so often she'd say, "Mummy, fifteen minutes? Ten minutes? Five? Can we wake him up now?"

    So sweet.

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  4. I love my baby. She has multiple chins. She uses the creases under them to churn her own unique type of butter.

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  5. I don't know, I see lots of cute stories and pictures of cute wee ones on a daily basis...

    My Ramekin is currently taking swim lessons, and is so very proud of himself for learning to swim so he can go sailing with Daddy next summer. He tells everyone.

    My Baby Boo thinks he's 3 like his brother. FUnny, cute and scary all rolled into one.

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  6. Mine has been using the same defense exactly! Not on. But good things - summer weekends of sitting outside in the sun with neighbours as our kids play together on the sidewalk. The bounty of summer fruit. A child so gorgeous she stops my heart. And best of all, a phase of honey-sweet cuddliness that I am scooping up with both hands while it lasts.

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  7. my kid tells me I'm "the sweetest little mama" every single day. i'd bottle it if i could.

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  8. Every so often my daughter runs up to me and tells me "mama, you make me so happy'. I just grab her and devour her with kisses.

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  9. That story is hard to top.
    I can;t think of a funny story really. The girl likes to lie about everything these days. Kind of like me as a kid and as an adult. I don't like to be wrong and neither does she so she'll twist the story to make it seem like 'oh I didn't want that anyway' even though she just asked for it.
    BUT she can write her name and when we went to see the JK teacher she wrote Katie on a paper the teacher gave her. Then I asked her to write Katherine, which she did. I noticed the pile of papers from the other kids and commented to the teacher that the other kids could all write their names and she laughed because the parents had written the names on the other papers. The best (worst?) part of this is that I didnt' even teach her this.

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  10. Oh you're so right about getting down about reading all the complaining. But sometimes it's just so much easier to write about the bad than good.

    Good things are plentiful around my place, as much as I write about how crap I feel, or tired etc etc...Samantha brings many smiles to my face each day. Especially now when she's almost 3 and becoming my little companion now. Watching her play outside with other kids is a joy, seeing her smile and laugh. I truly love it.

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  11. The Boy woke up at 6:15am the other day, and, seeing that all the doors were closed and everyone asleep (I was awake, but not moving), he went back into his room. Twice. He finally got up at 7:15am when he heard the Little Guy crying.

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  12. Here's my good news: As you know, I am out of town visiting my parents. My hubby was here for the weekend, but had to go back home Sunday. My daughter (2 years old) and I extended our tickets for another week. The Girl is missing her "friends" (a group of stuffed animals). My dear husband got home, gathered up the friends, took a picture and just e-mailed it to our daughter.

    I think she may die of excitement when she sees it in the morning!

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  13. I came down the stairs last week, dressed to go out, and Jane said, "you look nice mommy".

    She has finally given up her soother and we are almost toilet trained!

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  14. My kids get along. It amazes me every day how much they love each other, and I am so grateful.

    (And oh yeah, I get the "I'm just kidding" line a lot too!)

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  15. I love having kids. I think there's nothing more fun than being a mother. I hope that's obvious in my writing.

    We took the kids to see a demonstration on snakes tonight and all three of them were eager to hold all of the snakes, the Boy exclaiming with joy "THey feel like LINOLEUM!"

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  16. yep, you're fucked. i say this as someone who is also fucked.

    also... hard to comment on whether I *like* having kids. I *love* having my kids... but there's much about the generalized experience of having kids that I'm not super-crazy about (beginning with the whole being-torn-a-new-asshole thing ;))

    gonna have to chew on this.

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  17. I haven't noticed a lot of negativity lately. I must be reading in different places. What I have noticed is that the longer some of us do this, the less we actually talk about our kids.

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  18. something good, eh?

    my two oldest kids, who are polar opposites, and 20 months apart, and a boy and a girl, sit together on the bus to camp. every day. because they actually do like each other.
    when i'm not around.
    :)

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  19. You're welcome to use an answer I might patent in response to the joking excuse:

    "A joke is when TWO people laugh."


    And, Josephine is watching the Sound of Music this morning, because when we went by the theatre on King on Tuesday, she saw the sign for the upcoming show, and now wants to practice being the littlest "Sound of Music kid" in case there's an emergency and they need her to come up from the audience and go onstage.

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  20. or....'I forgot!!', or 'I didn't MEAN it!'

    whichever way you are totally fucked.

    I'm one of those. I need breaks. But I like being with them.

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  21. Ah! I get the "I was just joking" defense all the time!

    It KILLS me. But my response is, invariably, what Marla said, the key to joking is that it has to be *funny*.

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Talk to me.