Golden Globes - Not So Shiny

I watched the Golden Globes last night, quite by happy accident as I forgot that they were on. I would have spent the evening playing Rock Band with my husband/guitarist, elevating our band, Thunderina, to ridiculous levels of PS3 infamy, but my kid fell asleep on the couch, and she is a freakin’ bear if I wake her up to move her, so I let her sleep, and I just watched tv and folded laundry next to her all night.

Seriously, I know. I am a wild party.

Anyway, I do think that the best part of the night was the half a bag of sour cream and onion chips that I scarffed, but a few things did occur to me as I watched, and I thought I would share them. Come, join me. Let’s starf*ck.

* Um, was anybody watching the red carpet special? Did you see the part where Colin Farell is being interviewed? Not only did he seem totally coked up (hey tweaker, how’s it going?), but did you see the part when Eva Mendez showed up? I’m pretty sure he greeted her with a great big, juicy, live-on-air, ‘Fuck off!’ Awesome.

* Drew, I love ya babe, but the hair? You looked like you went to your stylist and said, I’m thinkin’ 80s prime time drama. Actually, it looks like you brought your stylist photos from my brother’s bar mitzvah, pointed to my mother and said – that. That is what I want. Make it big. Make it look like I am a Jewish mother at my 13-year old’s birthday party. My mother, I’m sure, loved your look, though she’ll probably thinks that overall, you were a little light on the sequins.

* Kate Winslet looked superridiculously stunning. That is all.

* Miley and her her daddy billy bob looked less-than-impressed when the Jonas Brothers took to the stage to present their award. I thought it was quite clever of the cameraman to make sure he caught her right-pissed off face when her biggest competition got more coverage than she did. Shoot Miley, you probably shouldn’t have taken those naked photos with your daddy. I know how tough the world of jockeying for pre-pubescent spending dollars fans can be.

* Two words for you: Mickey Rourke.
Ok, a few more, because hot damn! That cat is entertaining. I especially loved the sequined scarf that he gave a shout out to Axl Rose, possibly to call attention to someone even more washed out than himself, therefore elevating his status from ‘Totally Off His Nut Cracked Out Train Wreck’ to a more respectable, ‘Riding the High Between Relapses But Still Disgusting As The World Waits for News of My Next Overdose or Maybe Just a Simple Dalliance With a Tranny Hooker/Comeback Kid.’
Honestly, I want to see The Wrestler even less now than I did before last night.

* Um, where was the ‘In Memoriam’ section? Call me morbid, but it’s my favourite part of the show, once I’ve seen what everybody is wearing. Did I miss it? Dove did wake up at one point, and it may have been for the exact segment I was waiting all night to see (oh how cruel motherhood can be), but I’m kind of thinking that it just wasn’t there. Damn. It’s a long way to the Oscars to find out who died.

Overall, a boring ass show. What did you think?


  1. I didn't watch, but you gotta see Mickey Rourke in The Wrestler. It is a fantastic performance. And good music too (if you like hair bands).

  2. I didn't watch the show but I loved every second of this recap. You could give Perez Hilton a run for his/her money.

    Come to think of it, I've never once read Perez Hilton so what the heck do I know. Nor have I been to a Bar Mitvah. I did go to lots of weddings in the 80s, though, and I have seen The Wedding Singer. Does that count?

  3. When Kate gave her best actress speech, I got teary.

  4. you didn't miss it, they didn't do the in memoriam. Gotta wait for the oscars. Which is annoying.

  5. You are so funny MORBID with the in memoriam. But, come to think of it, I love it, too.... Totally agree with you on everything. Didn't see the Eva/Colin interaction. The only Colin I saw was that speech, which my head refused to wrap around. Not sure what to make of him....

    I'm glad you loved Kate. So did I. She's a total class act.

    I got teary-eyed when the guy from Wall-e won, and one guy in the audience stood up. I want to know who that guy was because he must be awesome.... Couldn't tell, though.

  6. I don't have the patience to watch - I just shamelessly catch up on Entertainment Tonight the next day.

  7. I started to watch it, and then Mr Earth made me watch National Treasure 2 because he hates the Golden Globes. Boo. But Kate did look good. I like her.

    And dude? You like sour cream and onion chips?? You are so my Capricorn soulmate.

  8. I thought it was a bit boring too. Maybe it's me - I have been faithful to the GG for a zillion years. But I just felt bored. Switched it off and watched PVR'd Brothers and Sisters.

    And I too want to see the Wrestler, esp. since Mickey got it on with Evan Rachel Wood!

  9. Mamalooper - Mickey Rourke getting it on with Evan Rachel Wood? So. Gross.

  10. Loved that Heath Ledger won best supporting actor. Also totally agree with you about Colin Farell. Robert Downey Jr. was looking a little too close to his pre-rehab days, also, which worried me a little.

    And yeah, Kate looked amazing.

  11. dying to see The Wrestler!

    did you catch the dude drop the fbomb??? it was awesome. apparently, they bleeped it on american stations...but ctv kept the f-word!

  12. Delurking...not sure if I've ever commented here before but I read regularly.

  13. I missed the whole damn thing, so I've been haunting the fashion sites online. (I actually kinda liked Drew's hair somehow - it seemed like a marilyn tribute or something with her new blonde colour.)

    But I saw tape of Mickey thanking his dogs, which I loved because he was so honest about how "nobody loves you when you're down and out" without sounding bitter.

    Do you know I am just noticing a spider crawling up the wall in front of me as I type here? Blech.


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