1.28.2009

Kgirl's AllSorts

So, if you ask my husband, Dove took her very first steps last night.

If you ask me, he propelled her out of his lap, in the direction of the couch, and she had no recourse but to move her feet or fall on her face.

Chris thinks I am stifling our children.

~ ~ ~

Here’s the joke that Bea asked for. I think I'm telling it right.

Sometimes, you can tell a lot about a religion not by what they do acknowledge, but by what they don’t:

Jews don’t acknowledge Jesus.

Hindus don’t acknowledge the Pope.

And Baptists don’t acknowledge each other in the liquour store.

~ ~ ~

I know I make myself out to be some, like super domestic guru or something (no – this is NOT another joke), but sometimes the things I cook end up tasting like undercooked, tasteless, gluey crap.

Go read about my shortcomings. The story definitely came out better than the food.

11 comments:

  1. Google ate my first comment (I think--but that's my excuse if a similar comment shows up before this).

    Trillian grew up in a heavily-Baptist town, so I've heard a good number of Baptist jokes. The one that seems to best capture her hometown:

    How do you keep a Baptist from drinking all your beer on a fishing trip?

    You bring another Baptist.

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  2. Mmmmm AllSorts are funny, yummy, and in the first sort: debatable (Dude, it sounds like she was propelled).

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  3. *snort* That was just as good as I was hoping for - even though you actually included the punchline in your post. And Mouse's comment just makes it that much funnier.

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  4. Chris the HusbandJanuary 28, 2009

    it's sad in this day and age, of obama and hope and a better future, to know that my wife is passing on her own fear, doubts and insecurities about walking onto our children.
    I, dear reader, am merely a poor father trying to raise his kids in a environment suspicious and deeply deeply paranoid of newton's basic laws of motion. This irrational fear of our children's locomotion attempts to stunt poor dove's natural growth. But I don't blame my wife, she is merely a product of her own mother's abject terror of running and children who run and could maybe possibly fall down and maybe bump themselves or fall into a hole or spontaneously explode. This has definitely deeply impacted on my wife, who self-admittedly does not run, ever, for any reason. Ever.
    If one were to crack open the Kgirl family Torah, the First Commandment has been rewritten, just one word, in big bold letters, "CAREFULL!!" Each generation of kgirl's family adds an extra exclamation mark to it. It's tradition.
    My wife's hesitance to admit to Dove's first steps is merely her reluctance to sit down and have 'the talk' with her, no not about sex, but about walking and running and all the challenges and choices that come with it. (see above, spontaneous combustion)
    So I try and I try to give my kids some sort of semblance of a normal life, secretly letting them run in the basement, or in Dove's case, letting her push a chair or small box around while upright but there is only so much a father can do, but be absolutely Proud & Supportive of Dove and all her accomplishments.

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  5. Laughing, oh my, the laughing.

    I think I've got to side with the hubs on this one.

    Only because I think I may have just developed a tiny bloggy crush on him after reading his defense of the situation.

    Heh.

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  6. Go, Dove! And, that joke is hilarious!

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  7. I think my family might be the Presbyterian version of YOUR family, what with the careful! and all.
    (and one time our minister held up a Bible and said that a) it was from our church and that b) it had been found in the LCBO. HAHAHAHAH! But since our minister was there buying booze in the first place, I think the owner was able to reclaim it with a minimum of shaming.)

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  8. hehehehe when do you count walking though? how many steps is walking? that's a tricky one!

    Lol @ the joke. Love it

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  9. I think propellinng totally counts as walking.

    Just saying.

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  10. I saw the video, My niece was walking.And it's true, even though I am the adventurous older sister to Kgirl, I am still the only parent at the ski hill/swimming pool/violin lessons yelling 'be careful!' to my daughter.

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  11. Sis - there's danger in violin lessons?

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