6.09.2009

The Good Mother

There are lots of amazing women in this community. And not only are they awesome women, but they are awesome mamas. We know this, because we read about all the things that make it so. We read about love and happiness and sadness and frustration and trial and triumph and some of these are huge occurrences that get lots of attention, and some of these are single sentences that we think nobody is reading.

Some of us are bad mothers. Some of us are Bad Mothers. Some of us are Good Enough Mothers, and some of us are good mothers. Is it semantics? Maybe. Some say no. I tend to think it is, but if it’s not, than I know what I am.

I am a Good Mother. With caps and all.

This is not because my children are loved and cared for and safe and encouraged and cuddled. To me, that is basic mothering, and in my world, it goes without saying that my children are receiving those things from me. Those are the fundamentals of the job – a job that I signed up for, and I try not to forget that.

What makes me a Good Mother is the energy, time and thought I put into the less instinctive, less intuitive aspects of mothering. The deliberate mothering that I do. The cooking I do so that my children will eat healthy, whole food. The nursing I do at 3am simply because my 19-month old has woken up and wants to nurse. The ungodly hour I wake up so I can get to and leave work early, enabling me to spend as much time as possible with my kids during the day. I make play-dough for my kids and then I spend an hour scraping it off the couch. We take our children on outings with their enjoyment specifically in mind. I try to have realistic expectations of my children, and of myself. These are some of the things that, to me, make me a Good Mother. And you know what else makes me a Good Mother, and yes, I will take that gold star now –

I actually, truly, honestly enjoy doing these things for and with my children.

(And ohmygawd, do NOT call me a martyr, because that turns me right into a Bad Blogger.)

I strive to be this, and I am proud and pleased to be this, and this brings me joy, and I wave my Good Mother flag seriously high in the sky.

And you know what else?

It’s not a competition. It doesn’t mean that I’m better than you.

It means that I am the mother of two small girls who are my world, and to them, for at least a little while longer, I am their world.

And I need that world to be a Good one. A really Good one.

***

13 comments:

  1. You are not a Good Mother. You're a Great Mother.

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  2. Here's to a really Good One. You are as unique and beautiful as your last three posts. And, all that popped out at me was how cute you are.

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  3. Being a Good Mother is everything to me, too--it doesn't mean perfect (as I tell myself), but it does mean Good, caps and everything.

    Beautiful post (and the last one, too).

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  4. I do believe it is a good world.

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  5. lovely kgirl. you are hitting it out of the park
    but that is what you do isn't it?

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  6. Auntie JennoJune 10, 2009

    I just read your last 2 blogs for the first time today. And it was a year and nine months ago that I sat on his bed and held our father's hand as he left this world. But it was today that I held little Joy as we watched her baby brother come into the world.
    Life really is a beautiful miracle.

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  7. You are such a good mother. It shows in the happy faces of your amazing daughters.

    Being a good mother is the thing I am most proud of in my life. And that's not some competitive, societal-imposed definition of "good". It's what I have defined it for my family and what I want to be for my son because, just like you, he is my world. xo

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  8. yes.
    yes.
    you are a GOOD MOTHER.
    definitely.
    :)

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  9. I'm with you! I too strive to be a good mother, and strive to be better each day.

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  10. I second what metro mama said.

    nice to hear someone giving themselves credit where credit is due for a change.
    Usually we (mothers) are too busy "shoulding" on ourselves and don't take the time to give ourselves a pat on the back from time to time.

    nice one.

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  11. Your girls are incredibly lucky to have a mom that truly enjoys her time with them.

    Lovely post.

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  12. In my book you've already won an Olympic gold medal in mothering. Two actually, one for each girl.

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