Passover and Out

Today, Jews around the world, including myself, are coming down from a self-induced Passover high (my friend says we should change the name to Passout), fuelled by carbs and wine and giddiness, and as I nurse my hamishe hangover, I am doing what many good Jews are doing, and kvetching about it reflecting.

Well, not really reflecting – I did that a few years ago and it made me sad, and that was when I still had a father. I just don’t feel like going to that place right now; our meal was heavy enough. I’ll keep it as light as the matzo balls were supposed to be.

Our Seder last night was fun – like, really fun. We brought a sweet kugel that the girls and I had made, and Bee could not remember what it was called. At various times during the evening it was referred to as: a gaful, a kafawd, a google and a dinner cake. We sang too loud and ate too much and we acted out and had props for 9 of the 10 plagues (not the last – we don’t talk about that one in front of the kinder), and as the Haggadah counsels, we asked four important questions. The youngest members of the family are supposed to ask the questions, but both of my loud, showy kids got shy, so my poor, question-beleaguered little sister had to come out of retirement to ask them.

So my sis asked the questions, and we all answered them, adding, of course, our own unique perspective to make things more interesting: Why do we dip our parsley into saltwater? To represent tears that the Jews shed when the matzo balls came out too hard! Anyway, yes that is the type of Jewish education I am giving my children. It’s ok – my righteous Gentile husband always corrects us when we mess up the details.

Anyway, today, with nary a piece of brisket in sight, I am reflecting. I have my own questions to ask, and I’d like answers:

1) Why do my kids only wake up an hour and a half early on days that I know are going to be ridiculously long and filled with sweets?

2) Why does my mother buy my children Passover colouring books to help keep them busy while we are still pigging out lounging at the table, only to forget where the hell she put the crayons?

3) Why do people keep suggesting that maybe my sister and I should ease up on the Jewish song medleys? Who doesn’t love Diaynu presented as a round, interspersed with Hava Negila?!

And finally…

4) Why does every Passover dessert taste like either a brick or a sponge, and why did I eat so much of it anyway?

Oy. The Passover bloat. Next year, remind me to pass over the farfel, kay? Oh, and by the way, sis? I saw you drinking Elijah’s wine.



  1. Heh! We had 8 young children at ours - friends & family. 18 adults in the mix and our not very big house results in lots of chaos! But fun! I wish we had done more songs, but my 94 year old grandfather led, and we respectfully let him.

    Highlight was definitely having 3 cousins singing the four questions along with half the table!

    Not as heavy on the carbs here, at least, not as much as some dinners. Too much farfal, lots of kugals, but rounded out nicely with salmon and green beans!

    Chag Sameach to you!

  2. "we don't talk about that in front of the kinder..."

    someone posted recently that they have searched for good passover desserts for 20 yrs then found these

    bonnie stern, bottom of the page
    chocolate cake and caramel matzo crunch

  3. Naomi - I miss that kind of chaos. We used to have it, but things have changed. Although, I do now get it at the huz's family gatherings. I'll take my family craziness wherever I can get it.

    And Lisa? YOU are a righteous Gentile. ;)

  4. I LOVE when the boys get the name for something consistently wrong. Cracks me up every time. Until it annoys me.

    Can I add a question? Why do my in-laws buy my children bucketfuls of candy that they insist on being eaten RIGHT THEN (ie. right before bedtime) so that I have to play the Bad Cop and tell them they can't actually eat their weight in sweets? Boo.

  5. My mother-in-law brings the kids over giant BAGS of candy and then leaves, which is the way to do it, I GUESS.

    Singing rounds! That is the best. THE VERY BEST.

  6. That sounds like a hell of a party - you aren't going to need book club this month!

  7. wish I been at your seder- sounds like a hoot!
    happy belated passover to you guys


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