When I started blogging in 2006, I had an infant and a new life as a new mother, and it was wonderful and strange and daunting. And, although I cherished the forum as a venue to find my legs as a parent, I didn’t really start to blog because I was in search of a community – hell, I didn’t even know the community existed. I wasn’t experiencing any crippling isolation; I wasn’t feeling unsure of my every move and I wasn’t confounded by this tiny person I was now responsible for. I was actually loving infanthood and motherhood and (knock wood) things were going really, really well for me.
But starting a blog certainly fed and filled a need for me – the need to write.
It was like I had been handed my dream job – my own editorial column in my own imaginary magazine that I could pretend people were actually interested in reading. I could write whatever I wanted, in my own voice, without compromise, expectation or deadline.
And now that I had a child, I had an excuse to write. I had consistent, ever-evolving subject matter that I was hopelessly devoted to. I had a point of view, and the funniest, sweetest muse a writer could ever hope for.
My baby, motherhood, this new community, this new forum – it inspired endlessly and gave me an outlet all right, a creative one, where the one thing I knew I was good at could meld seamlessly with something else I was discovering I was good at too.
I didn’t, and still don’t, have any self-imposed rules for blogging. I do it when I am inspired, or, more accurately, when impediments of time, laziness, expectation and obligation are not blocking my way. I’ll never be famous for it and it’ll never mean more to anybody than it does to me. That’s ok.
A friend, after catching up on my recent posts, said to me that she envies my archive, because, while she has a shelf-full of scrapbooks that mark occasions in her daughter’s life (beautifully, I might add), I have a record of how I felt about those occasions. That’s a pretty nice way of looking at it, I think.
Self-indulgent as well, to be sure, but the way I see it, parenthood – motherhood – is so much about giving away, giving to, doing for and going without, that it’s nice to be a little self-indulgent with my thoughts.
The fact that, in the course of this crazy ride, I have found the community that I never knew was out there; that I have embraced and been embraced by it; that I have learned more about who am I am who I want to be through it? Well that’s just gravy.
So on this, my fourth anniversary of life as a blogger, I just want to say thank you; for indulging, for reading, for writing, for commenting, for teaching, for arguing, for enlightening, for laughing and most of all, for sharing this little space, this little pocket of time, with me.