What do Mike Tyson, A-Rod, Charlie Sheen, Kayne West, Sean Penn and John Wayne (amongst many others) have in common?
They’re all douchebags!
But what other unfortunate traits do these pathetic souls share?
Their douchebaggery has not stopped them from remaining pop culture icons, who, save for some negative publicity every now and then, are let back into the public fold, time and time again. Who get awards and accolades and affection and celebrity and everything that goes with it, despite being, say it with me, huge douchebags.
Mike Tyson is a convicted rapist.
Charlie Sheen was convicted of assaulting his wife.
Kanye West is arrogant and interrupts little girls and is such a douchebag that even President Obama called him a Jackass.
Alex Rodriguez seems to be ok to hump anything that moves, whether he has a wife waiting for him or not.
Sean Penn plead guilty to a misdemeanor after being charged with felony domestic assault and has a long history of not being able to control his temper.
John Wayne proves that there have always been douchebags.
And I’m only talking about one special brand of douchebag here – the kind that we won’t let fade into obscurity. There are lots and lots of douchebags out there, (Seriously. Lots.) but they have either a) blatently made their living off of being a douchebag and we know it, or b) their douchebaggery is more like a sad affliction that attacks their own life and career, making the hunger of the public’s judgement less voracious.
No; the douchebags that I really can’t stand are the douchebags that we allow into the camp of, ‘forgive and forget,’ over and over again despite repeated and abhorrent transgressions. They are the douchebags that we will bring out of obscurity and virtually fetishize in pop culture. They are the douchebags that prove, over and over again, that they are not worthy of our money and attention, yet we give it to them. They are the (sometimes) really talented douchebags, and for some reason we put more importance on being a good performer than we do on being a good human.
And that is why I am saying thank you to Todd Philips and Zach Galifianakis and the producers of The Hangover 2, for booting Mel Gibson’s ass out of their movie.
Because I don’t think this is a ‘rough time’ for Mel Gibson. I think Mel Gibson is a serial racist, misogynistic, homophobic fuck, and he has been forgiven one too many times.
People are defending Mel Gibson, just as people have defended every other douchebag I’ve named and all the ones I haven’t, and maybe, if he keeps his head down and mouth shut for the next 10 years, I’ll be ready to hear a line or two of sympathy for the supreme asshole. But the original move by the director and producers of The Hangover 2 to capitalize on Mel Gibson’s douchebaggery while it is still making major headlines? To ostensibly paint Mel Gibson as a cool fucking dude by putting him a cool fucking movie NOW? Well, if I objected to a convicted rapist being given another 15 minutes in the first Hangover movie, my head was about to explode over this proposed cameo.
So, to the good people of The Hangover 2, again, I say thank you. I agree in giving Mel Gibson a chance – a chance to fade into nothingness and never be heard from again.
Does Mel Gibson deserve to be blacklisted in Hollywood? It does happen you know.
And I think the time is ripe for it to happen again.