3.01.2011

Observations From the Road

We drove to Florida with a five year old, a three year old and my backseat survival guide. And lived to tell the tale.
Here then, is the tale:

  •  Your child will only barf after they have eaten a huge meal, chugged a cup of milk and then downed a third of the snacks you packed, ensuring that every inch of her, her seat, you and your shoes are covered in puke. I guess that makes sense.

  • My car needs a bumper sticker. Driving through the land o’the bumper stickers, where politics, religion, thoughts on gun control, birth control, sports love (hot), gay love (not), wildlife and wild living are pasted onto the ass-end of half the cars we passed made our Mazda feel downright nekkid. The good: Obamamama 08. The bad: It’s Not a Choice, It’s a Child. The ugly: God, Guts & Guns Made America. (*shudder*)


  • My life is not better because I now know what grits taste like. (paste, btw)

  • The only billboards more prevalent than the ones demonizing women for even thinking about abortion are the ones for the highway-side strip joints.

  • When it is your turn to drive, it will either be through the ugliest, nastiest city with the worst roads on the entire route (not naming any names. *cough* Cincinnati *cough*), or through the mountains, in the pelting, blinding rain.

  • When your white-knuckled drive finally does end and your husband gets back behind the wheel, the power steering will temporarily fail. He will blame you, but you are pretty sure that fear does not break power steering.

  • Eventually, your husband will make a wrong turn. It will be your fault.

  • When the children in the backseat have stopped using their recorders to serenade you with a peaceful tune and started using their recorders as weapons of mass destruction, it’s time to stop for the night.

  • It will all be worth it.

6 comments:

  1. Love it! That photo is too sweet. Did you guys totally get there first thing in the morning, because there are NEVER that few people around.

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  2. Gret picture! And good to know that it is worth it. The drive scares me!

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  3. @capital mom - it was worth it to have a week in the sun with my family. Disney was decidedly NOT the highlight. But it is the best picture I got of all of us.

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  4. Totally Worth it!
    What Elle Said, that photo is awesome
    So glad you've been sucked into the evil empire too. makes me feel better thx.

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  5. YOU DROVE?!??!?!?

    I bow to you. You are officially my hero.

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  6. You are a brave, brave woman.

    But I'm really glad it worked out.

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